(I define "gender" to mean "the set of sociocultural characteristics historically associated with either sex")
(disclamer: this post may or may not be crippled by a terrible understanding of the topic at hand)
I'm not a Gender Abolitionist, I'm a Gender Bootstrappist. What I mean by this is that I think gender should become its own cultural notion, separate from sex, even though that's where it started historically. Gender should still be able to be partaken of by people, in whichever manner they want (including not at all). But, one important aspect, is that if gender as a broad cultural notion is to be preserved (for it is, after all, Very Culture), then there will be social expectations; I don't think that's avoidable, and I think a reasonable amount of social expectations can be had without falling into straight-up discrimination. Having expectations at all are what allow the subversion of expectations, and also expectations are pretty humancore.